I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
