You can't special order awesome
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
