If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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