Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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