There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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