Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
