I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
