I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
