Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
