Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
