I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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