I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
