last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
