Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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