so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
