i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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