nut hugger
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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