omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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