Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
barbara walters just said penis...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
