when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
