a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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