Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
