Buhtt sex?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
