my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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