Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
