I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
