You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Randomize
