every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
