I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
