i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
