I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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