He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
