You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
