i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
