you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
