ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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