weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
be right there i have to get my cape
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
