I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
