Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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