Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
