please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
barbara walters just said penis...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
