Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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