Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
