So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
