im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
