Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have tasted many bathrooms
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
