I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I smell stomach acid.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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