After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
