Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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