just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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