thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize