there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize