This house was built for laser tag.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
