can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
