it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
