You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize