I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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