Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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