Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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