Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
