did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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